I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize