Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
