I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize