sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
