apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
