I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
