tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
