What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
