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Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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