Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
