Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
