hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
