your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
