ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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