Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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