she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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