we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
