just tell him i said nine months
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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