so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
