people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
