"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
