sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
