ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
