Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
