I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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