yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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