It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
