I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
