Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
