I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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