Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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