TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just high enough for therapy.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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