Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
