She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
