Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
