Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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