capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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