I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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