dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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