All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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