It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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