please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK