maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
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God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
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PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"