I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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