Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
