I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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