the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Can I color on your dick again?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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