break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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