just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
