We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
