He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
