Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize