Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
