just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize